So…

As I’ve adulted for the last 27 years…..that’s 20 plus 27 to equal my age. Granted that I was an adult at 20….so as I was saying…

As I’ve adulted over the last 27 years I’ve had bouts of happiness. Usually short term. Then bouts of abusing alcohol. That’s where I am now.

It’s like I can’t be with someone who genuinely loves me. Who’s sees me for who I am.

It’s terrible. I had the best girl. She flew thousands of miles to see me graduate school.

I doubted her trust and lost her.

Lifetime of pain. 47 years of pain. Does it ever end? Do I force it to end? If so, is it because I checked out or is it because I got a grip?